I have loved and got hurt a lot of times. I have given myself to a lot people who just took me for granted. I’ve given a lot to people who just threw everything out as if I were just a piece of trash and made me feel like unworthy of anything. I know how to get hurt and how it feels like to be unwanted.
I’m not just talking about love between the opposite sex, I’m talking about love in general.
I’ve trusted a lot of friends and treated them as if they were really my brothers and sisters. I’ve been left by those friends and felt like I’ve been used for their benefits. I got angry to them, I got disappointed, and I lost them.
I’ve felt like this my whole life.. like I would not find any friends worth keeping.. and that no one would treat me as if I’m important to them, but what I missed is that they have not done anything wrong.
I am the one who abandoned myself. I am the one who did not really loved them.
You see, love is really a strange thing. It is unexplainable, you can just feel it. Personally, I’m the type of person who gives it all when I love. I give everything I got ’till nothing is left of me. I love people and expect them to love me back, and if they don’t, I would hate myself, not them.. but myself. And that my friends, is not love. That is being selfish.
Love is something to be given without expecting something in return. And, if you think otherwise, something’s wrong.
I used to think that I was unworthy of being loved back or being appreciated. That no one ever truly loves me because I don’t see them doing everything that I am willing to do for them. I expect people to do certain things that can qualify my ideals about what genuine love is. But, I realized that I am the one who doesn’t know how to love. I am the one who doesn’t give worth to myself, and I am the one who does not love myself.
Someone told me, that loving people and expecting them to love me back the same way is what hurts me, because it shouldn’t be that way.
First, I need to love myself before anyone else does. Everyone already know this, but only a few know how to. And, that’s what everybody need to learn, and it’s hard for me. I don’t know why loving oneself is awfully hard. Is it because we know our flaws and weaknesses? But, that’s the point, right? Love is loving someone’s flaws and imperfections, too. Maybe, in reality, I still haven’t loved anyone.. including myself. But, I learned. And, that’s the best part of making mistakes, learning.
So, have you loved anyone the right way? Have you loved someone, anyone, without asking or expecting anything in return? If you already did, I’m telling you now, you are the strongest person I know. I salute you!
And, to those who love just like me. To those who love and expect. Let’s make this right. Let’s stop hurting ourselves.
Let’s make ourselves fall in love with what we see in the mirror. Smile. Do you. Love yourself like how you must love others. Self-love should not have expectations, too. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect, ’cause you’re not, and that what makes you human.
Your imperfections are what makes you beautiful. Your imperfections are what makes you unique.
Whether you’re fat, your teeth looks bad, you’re small, you’re dark skinned, etc. Remember, you are beautiful. And, you can do certain things that no one in this planet could ever do.
And above all, God made us exactly the way He wanted us to be. And, He will never.. ever.. abandon us.
Be your first love.