Random Thought #1

Have you ever felt the feeling of wanting to know what really your use in this world is? I feel it everyday.

I am sitting here beside our window. From here, I can see nothing because it’s dark out. My sister and our dog are sleeping next to me. I can’t sleep because of the thoughts that keep on bothering me. There are a lot of things that are going in and out of my mind. I feel empty and useless these past few days. I also feel hate towards random people and random things. I feel frustrated. I can’t do anything right. I keep on messing things up. Most especially when it comes to dealing with my mood swings. I keep on feeling this constant need to find what I really want to do with my life. Yes, I love drawing and I know that I have a talent in arts… well I’m not that good at it but I am not bad either. But I can’t just rely on drawing for the rest of my life right? At some point, knowing myself, I will get tired and uninterested. I don’t want to, but I know I will. I am feeling pressured because of no apparent reason. With this in mind, I wonder if art really is my passion. Yeah I got the talent, but I don’t know if this is really what makes me happy. I don’t know why I am feeling this strong thirst for change and finding what really my passion is. I am not sure if I am just depressed or what.

I want to be better. I want to do something worthy. Not that I find drawing boring. I just know that it’s not really what drives me. I want to find a hobby that would be beneficial to me. A hobby that I’d be able to enjoy long term while learning or while doing myself a favor.

I don’t know… I feel lost. I’m sorry for this random sh*t.

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One thought on “Random Thought #1

  1. sketching is worthy
    just keep on doing it if you love it
    there are a artist out there who even earn from it
    and yahh you can sketch for rest of your life if you love to
    you are not that good thn you are also not that bad
    if you say you ve got talent in it then dont let it be wasted
    carve your talent to a masterpeice 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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